Thursday, May 30, 2002

YOU GOTTA BE IN IT TO WIN IT: Jonah Goldberg raps a few knuckleheads for their inability to engage in critical thinking -- comparing their lust for jihad to winning the lottery. Here's an excerpt:
Because so many Muslims believe as a matter of religious truth that a full-blown, all-out, full-tilt boogie for burkas and beheadings kind of war will, by definition, result in the global "rule of Allah," there's a tendency to see war as a solution to any problem you might be facing. It's sort of like seeing global war as a winning lottery ticket that would solve all your problems. In 1964, for instance, Yasser Arafat believed — and announced — that his failed attack on a water pump in Northern Israel would lead to jihad and the ultimate destruction of Israel.

Osama bin Laden, we all know, believed and hoped that the 9/11 attacks would result in a holy war. Meanwhile, his organization and those associated with it are so high on their crack hookahs they think a holy war will result in Islamic dominion over all or most of India, Russia, and China too.

What's my point? Simple: These people are frickin' nuts. If they were allowed to drink booze, I'd say they were talking with their beer muscles. I know it's fun for these loons to imagine a bunch of Dervishes pouring into downtown Cleveland whirling their scimitars as we fat and spoiled Americans drop our Big Macs and run for our lives, but that will never, ever, happen.

Think of the "best case" scenario for these terrorists: The entire Muslim world rises up for a jihad against the United States. This what they wish for, right? Well, this alone qualifies them as idiots.

I'm no Victor Davis Hanson, but it seems to me that even without nuclear weapons, we could probably defeat all 57 members the Islamic Conference of Nations — combined. We'd need to be convinced that our survival was on the line and be thus committed to total war like we were during WWII or the Civil War. But that's sort of implied when you use phrases like "global holy war," and talk about the mass conversion and/or the mass slaughter of Christendom, right?

Oh sure, we might need to reinstate the draft, cut some fat from the next farm bill, load up on a couple of more air wings and de-mothball a few ships, but it's totally doable when you think about it...


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